It's a relationship not a religion...

Very recently I have had to examine my belief system.  I still have many questions and doubts but one thing I've never stumbled on is that I love Jesus, I love God, and I know that I've had life changes because of them being present in my life.  What I do stumble on more is the so called Christians that follow.
I attend church very recently, and if you get yourself involved in any church for more than 2 seconds you will quickly realize that God's people are not perfect.  It even says it in the bible, I mean read some of the letters Paul wrote to the churches to clear up stupid misunderstandings, you won't find him addressing who's responsible for coffee, however.
More recently, even as I've felt myself not wanting to be labeled "Christian" because to me that word signifies a whole list of judge mental, holier-than-thou, and just plain ugly thoughts in my head, I was contacted by a fellow Christian "in love" to correct what he thought was a mistake on my part.
Now this man is someone I do admire, and normally I would take his message into account.  However when you start your "in love" message to another adult with "when are you going to grow up?" then I've suddenly discounted anything you have to say.  Especially when your same sentence that says IN LOVE has an insult included.
I'm not exactly sure when the last time this person and myself had a conversation about my life.  I know I haven't seen him for about 8 months.  I'm not sure how much of my life you can be very clear on when we haven't spoken, caught up, or even passed each other on the street for that matter.  I'm not sure how well you can know my relationship with God without you asking me first "hey how are things going for you?"
So basically, to get to the gist of this entire message....isn't the phrase "It's not a religion, it's a relationship" that people throw around indicative of a PERSONAL relationship?  Do I not love God?  Do I not already believe enough?  Do I really have to walk like you, talk like you, dress like you, and act like you for there to be evidence of God's presence in my life?
I would think my personal relationship with God is different than yours, I would also think without you knowing much about me, you can't judge my walk with Him.
Thank you concerned stranger who once might have known something about me, but I'm not sure how much of your concern is actually "in love" and how much of it is actually "in judgement and assumption".